A few lucky men become lumberjacks and firemen. For the rest of us, we sit in a small office or cubicle next to a guy named Kevin who likes to bring in leftover Indian food for lunch. On the other side we’ve got Jan eating baby carrots like a goddamn rabbit!  JUST COOL IT WITH THE BABY CARROTS JAN!


Let me guess, you would define your office interior decorating skills as “minimalist” meaning you are sporting a dirty coffee mug and a calendar from 2014. Might I make a suggestion? You spend 8 hours a day in that neutrally-hued carpet-walled prison, why not do yourself a favor and have it at least smell nice? (And let’s be honest, you can only blame your farts on Kevin so many times before Jan clues in. Plus, it might be nice to have a little something masking the brown air biscuits you are tossing out after lunch.)

The way I see it, you’ve got a few options.

  1.  You can go to Walmart and buy yourself a glade plugin or whatever the hell this is…air_fresh(No seriously, what is this?  If you have one of these in your office, home or cubicle you need to question your life choices at a foundational level.)
  2.  You can buy some sort of toxic air spray that will choke you, last for roughly 28 seconds and  alert the entire office you released a trouser cough.
  3.  I suggest the last choice. You can diffuse essential oils and make your work domain smell like a man.

All jokes aside, smells can have a big impact on our mood, focus and mind. Our brains reaction to smell is more powerful than any other sense. Just think of your favorite place in the world, or maybe your favorite Christmas memory – one of the first things your brain does is try and recall the associated scents. Smells can help us relax, elevate mood, focus and even horny…(Slow wink. Article to come.)

So I recommend moving that old coffee mug, throwing away the old calendar and slapping down a mini essential oil diffuser on your desk. The best part is that you can do so with your man card fully intact. Because the scents that I have on this page are manly to the core, pleasing to the sniffer and guaranteed to mask the hottest brown cloud you can muster. (Not really…I would still blame Kevin when they come out hot.)


  • The following blends are meant to be used in a cold-air diffuser. These diffusers usually require a small amount of water to be added, along with the oils. (Usually around 70 mL)
  • Follow the manufacturers directions on your diffuser.



  • 2 drops Orange Essential Oil

  • 2 drops Peppermint Essential Oil



  • 2 drops White Fir Essential Oil

  • 2 drops Cypress Essential Oil

  • 2 drops Wintergreen Essential Oil



  • 3 drops Orange Essential Oil

  • 2 drops Cinnamon Bark Essential Oil

  • 1 drop Clove Essential Oil



  • 3 drops Frankincense Essential Oil

  • 2 drops White Fir Essential Oil

  • 1 drop Cedarwood Essential Oil



  • 2 drops Vetiver Essential Oil

  • 2 drops Cedarwood Essential Oil

…And might I suggest some noise cancelling headphones for Jan..AND HER F@!#ING BABY CARROTS!



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